Celebrating 100 over years in Irondequoit
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We've all learned to live with the reality of answering machines and systems. They seem to be a necessary part of life these days. Imagine if you were praying to the Lord one day and after addressing Jesus, you heard, "Thank you for calling my Father's house. Please select one of the four options. Press 1 for requests, press 2 to offer thanks, press 3 to complain, for all other inquiries, press 4.
So you press 1 and hear, "We're sorry, due to heavier than expected volume, please try your call again at a later time. Your call is very important to us." What if God used the familiar excuse, "All of our intercessory angels are helping other customers right now. Please stay on the line. Your call will be answered in the order in which it was received. Thank you for your patience." Can you imagine these kinds of responses as you "call on God" in prayer? And then when you press 4, you get a whole new range of options.
"If you'd like to speak to the Blessed Virgin Mary, press 1. For the archangels Gabriel, Michael, or Raphael, press 2. If you'd like to speak to someone about patience, parenting, and perseverance, press 3 and you will be connected with St. Joseph. If your cause is particularly hopeless, press 4 and you will be routed to St. Jude. To receive our latest promotional gift with your order of Paradise, press 0 and an operator will assist you. To find out how many angels can fit on the head of a pin, press 5. If you'd like King David to sing a psalm, press 6. To find out if your relative is here, enter his or her date of death and listen to what follows. For reservation information or to confirm your reservation at "My Father's House," press the letters J-O-H-N followed by the numbers 3-1-6. (Look it up! John 3:16).
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, the location of Noah's Ark, wait until you get here. Our records show that you have called once already today. Please hang up immediately. This office is closed for the weekend. We look forward to speaking to you on Monday.
